Donate to Absurd Job Vacancies! Donate to Absurd Job Vacancies! Donate to Absurd Job Vacancies! Donate to Absurd Job Vacancies! Donate to Absurd Job Vacancies!


Examine the expectations and inferences underlying selected job positions. Consider timely topics in career preparation and the struggle for fulfilling employment. Analyze what could be improved in either situation. If this blog reminds you too much of work, then peruse my namesake blog for lighter fare.

Fuck UWM and all universities! UW-Milwaukee and their brethren are mediocre. Click banner ads on ClixSense instead; it's a better use of time than a college education in the UW System.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

You’re Graduating -- So What?

My primary audience for today’s post is the newly minted or soon-to-be college graduate. You’ve shown enough topical knowledge to be certified as knowing your way through the concepts of one or more subject matters. "A winner is you!" Why the sarcasm? Any obstacles in obtaining student employment were preludes to the perilous challenges of securing real employment in the adult world without the “benefit of the doubt” which accompanies the youngest of job applicants.

Contrast the “industrious” perception of the high schooler who applies for an entry-level assembly, customer service, or otherwise menial job against the “desperate” college graduate who applies for the same job. Whereas the former is too young to have an adult employment record and hence has an excuse for lack of prior experience -- much like a person lacking a credit history has a fairly high credit score -- the latter is expected to have not only had a continuous employment record but also shown an increase in prestige with each subsequent job.

Be prepared for unemployment after conferral of your degree if your jobs have been Work Study or otherwise student-only. Given the timing of this post, some of you might have statistical homework or research papers requiring a statistical summary section. If that is your lot and you realize the futility of graduation but still want or need to earn an “A” on your stats work, then send me a project request.

Bonus: Check out these unapologetically captioned graduation pictures!

Also, Dave Granlund drew a poignant political cartoon --recolored by yours truly for dramatic effect -- biting into the ritual psychodrama bookending the modern university system:

If you've spent the better part of your high school years preparing for admission to a quality university -- most state universities are crap despite being accredited -- then you can be forgiven for thinking the university is your be-all and end-all to a good life. However, you've been forewarned about the possibility that you've been preparing for an illusory outcome which will never exist in your lifetime -- you can be very accomplished in studies, Work Study, and other university activities but be strung out employment-wise upon and after graduation.

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