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Examine the expectations and inferences underlying selected job positions. Consider timely topics in career preparation and the struggle for fulfilling employment. Analyze what could be improved in either situation. If this blog reminds you too much of work, then peruse my namesake blog for lighter fare.

Fuck UWM and all universities! UW-Milwaukee and their brethren are mediocre. Click banner ads on ClixSense instead; it's a better use of time than a college education in the UW System.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Pet-Sitting Racket Requires Dogwalkers To Be On-Call Saints with Character References; Easily Irritated Need Not Apply

Found on 01-10-2017 at URL:

Get Paid to Play with Animals! (Madison)

Compensation: up to $14 hourly

Employment type: part-time

Established and well-loved pet sitting company, is seeking exceptional pet sitters and dog walkers to add to our staff.

Please note: We will be accepting applications until we find the right staff, so if you are viewing this posting weeks after it's been published, please contact us as we may still need more staff members! Our clients are mainly based in downtown/central and west Madison.

Pet Sitting Position:

Flexible schedule on an "as-needed basis." You'll provide feeding, walking, plant watering, and mail pickup while clients are traveling; visits are 1-2 visits per day for 3-14 days.

Visits for dogs are between 7-9 am and 6-8 pm; visit times for cats are more flexible and are usually once daily. This job is perfect for someone who wants to supplement his/her income before and after a full-time job.

Requirements for the Pet Sitter position:

- You have a car with insurance, and a smartphone.

- You can commit to working with us until at least June 2017.

- You love all kinds of animals.

- You are available for both morning and evening visits.

- You can work at least 2 of the 3 major winter holidays:

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's (Don't worry; you'll be able to have a holiday too, and you'll be paid more per visit during this time.)

- You can pass a criminal / background check.

Dog Walking Position:

Walkers needed weekend mornings/afternoons, and Monday/Friday 10am - 1pm. You will provide exercise, potty breaks, and playtime for dogs on a regular basis. This is a part-time position with 2-3 walks per shift.

As your business increases and you become established, more walks will become available. Great potential for growth! Requirements for the Dog Walking position:

-You have a car with insurance, and a smartphone.

-You LOVE dogs big and small.

-You enjoy working outdoors.

-You can work with us until at least June 2017. The pets will want to develop a long-term relationship with you. -You are available for the days/hours listed above.

-You can easily pass a criminal/background check.

Hours/Pay rate: You will be paid per visit and can make up to $14 per hour.

Please email us and put the position you are applying for in your subject line.

Please include your location, and in 50 words or less, explain why you would be the perfect person for this job. Attaching your resume and a cover letter is strongly encouraged.

Wow! A comprehensive background check and prior-employment verification are needed before one can hold leashes for this unnamed "pet-sitting company." And then, you have to be the company's [mother dog] (pun intentional), being on-call (which is what "as-needed" -really- means).

Oh, and you only get one holiday, because [screw] you, dog lovers! We'll exploit your loyalty!! (Bleed for the dogs, you mongrel!!!)

Less facetiously: It sounds like the proprietor is a real cur to be around. I mean -really- anal-retentive and intrusive, much like the -worst- of the apartment landlords.

But digging into the applicant requirements, unanswered questions arise about the selection process:

1) How is anyone -other- than a teenager or retired person going to get hired?

Because let's acknowledge the habitual age discrimination at hand, in that you won't see a jobless college grad being offered any job of this sort, knowing even the less-security-intensive "teenager jobs," such as waiter, are often withheld from the desperate, job-seeking degree holder (and not for lack of the grad's effort).

2) By what test is one evaluated for personality-job fit?

I reckon that anyone who is slow to emotionally respond -- or responds with an exaggerated expression -- when the hiring manager greets him or her will probably be deemed "sociopathic" and thereby mentally dismissed before the first interview question is asked.

But again, most people old enough to have -already become cynical- probably won't be invited to interview! (There's that dreaded age discrimination again, surmountable only if you come across as a loving grandparent who "lives to help others.")

3) I wonder how the hiring manager measures "love" of dogs?

Whatever the case, I don't give a damn: I friggin' -hate- house pets, especially those whose owners love them more than they love people.

It seems this gratuitous favor towards animals is the mentality of the pet-setting company owner. It is the most plausible explanation for why s/he proposes guidelines for screening people, but seemingly lets -literally any- dog be cared for, no matter how dangerous -it- might be to the human caretaker!

Why not subject the dogs-to-be-walked to the -same- intensive background check and character scrutiny as the people who will be walking them?

Because the owner holds humans to a double-standard!

S/he distrusts others, possibly due to previously-suffered -trauma.- (Now -that's- a word you cannot say directly in the Disqus section of Wisconsin Public Radio, because it triggers the auto-moderation comment filter.)

Whether or not you believe the Judeo-Christian Creation Story (as I do; see *Rant*), it is indisputable that animals can be as mean as people!

All higher-order primates, including humans, exhibit a rich variety of violent passions, both vengeful and merciful. However...

...While chimpanzees might have limited capacity for memory, by which to develop notions of love and revenge, humans are the only creations who can create a near-infinite array of communications and cultures. This connects us to the spiritual realm because we've the free will that exemplifies the soul!

[*Rant against those who say, "People are just another animal!"]

1) We have a soul, with free will; whereas (non-human) animals do not have any genuine choice, only instinct.

2) We are made in God's physical image, with a neurological functioning that uniquely positions us to adapt our environment to -ourselves- like no other creature on Earth!

And if you fancifully think, "Non-human animals cannot hate, so they're morally superior to humans," then you're incorrect: Upbringing -can- make a domesticated animal misanthropic; and feral animals often exhibit territorial behavior extending -beyond the bounds- in which the animal was reared. And while one could argue this means animals do -not- respect property rights, which makes them disrespectful [and hateful] of those who have equal, or better, claim to that territory, the premise can be more easily summarized as: Barbarism is the state of nature!


So, why my disdain for dogs?

I remember when living with my 'rents, when stuck in dead-end manual labor -after- graduating with my master's degree in public administration (not a degree in manual labor), they had this yappy dog whose two purposes in life amounted to:

1) Making as much noise as possible, thereby necessitating I wear ear mufflers when visiting; and

2) Making as much a mess as possible, thereby ensuring their home smells like a sewer, even when it's scrubbed spotless.

While counting the days until I could afford my own place, I relished the Conan-the-Barbarian fantasy wherein I would /slice/ the condemned canine's cranium clean-off!

And dye the lawn crimson with its effluent fluid, lest the blood seal-in the stench from its prior messes... Peace at last!

Oh, but the dog wasn't -my- property, so I had to let the damned thing bark, sh*t, and p*ss -without- any consent to correct it.

Whoa! Is that a vicious streak you're seeing? Such violent prose and brute philosophy!

Let's just say that in AJV Blog's off-time, this writer has gained much more "life experience," and is taking it upon himself to disabuse readers of naive notions about how the world is presented -- nay, marketed! -- to them.

As for the 50-words-or-fewer statement of qualifications, here's what I imagine -brutally honest- letter of interest would say:

"Dear Pet-Sitter-in-Chief: I love dogs so much, that I volunteer every weekend at the pound! And when the animal shelter tries to euthanize the dogs, I try to sneak them out the back door. (And get yelled at, but you know, I can't help it that I love dogs!) And I'd love to spend all my spare time caring for -- no, loving -- our customers' dogs, because I'm a loser -- excuse, me dog-lover -- with no life beyond dog-rearing!"

*Blech!* What an awful letter of interest; and yet, it -probably is- what the pet-sitting company's manager is looking for in an applicant: Naive, friendless, and easily exploited.

Anyway, pet-sitting would be a -nightmare job from Hell- for Yours Truly, so I'm glad to have -nothing- to do with dogs nowadays!

*SHA-HEM-PHOR-ASCH* (Or so the dog-killing cultists are alleged to say.)

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

AJV Blog Reboots After Two Years' Dormancy

Yes! The rumors that this blog remained online "for a reason" were indeed correct: The Absurd Job Vacancies Blog is back!

To maximize creative freedom, I -won't- stick a regular posting schedule -- but -will- post spontaneously, when the zeitgeist of inspiration hits. (Those spur-of-the-moment reviews make for the best, due to the passion, circumspection, and provocative ideas that emerge.)

My next post will be within a week -- maybe sooner!

In the meantime, read some back-issues of AJV Blog, starting with the very first review.