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Examine the expectations and inferences underlying selected job positions. Consider timely topics in career preparation and the struggle for fulfilling employment. Analyze what could be improved in either situation. If this blog reminds you too much of work, then peruse my namesake blog for lighter fare.

Fuck UWM and all universities! UW-Milwaukee and their brethren are mediocre. Click banner ads on ClixSense instead; it's a better use of time than a college education in the UW System.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Cover Letter for Unemployment Insurance Fraud Investigator

Role: Unemployment Insurance Fraud Investigator
Agency: Workforce Development, Department of
Job Announcement Code: 1401699
County(ies): Dane
Classification Title(s)/JAC: Unemployment Insurance Fraud Investigator - Project Employment
Job Working Title(s): REGULATORY SPECIALIST - 1401699
Type of Employment: Full Time (40 hrs/week)
Salary: Starting salary is between $17.072/hr. and $27.00/hr., plus benefits. Project employment does provide benefits, but does not provide for any rights to a permanent civil service position and does not lead to permanent status in class.
Contact: Chris Goslawski, HR Specialist, 608-266-8332,
Bargaining Unit: Non-Represented
Area of Competition: Open
Deadline to Apply: 4/28/2014

There are currently 4 vacancies. These positions are responsible for investigating and resolving non-complex and complex level fraud cases, including known imposter investigations, employers or others aiding and abetting claimants in committing fraud, fictitious employers and identity theft investigations. This position requires specialized knowledge of, and experience with, criminal investigation and prosecution, particularly of financial crimes. These positions are located at 201 E. Washington Ave. in downtown Madison.

Job Duties: Investigate allegations of UI fraud based on referrals from employers, the general public, and others. Conduct investigations, including identity theft investigations, by applying sound fact-finding principles to secure all pertinent information. Collect and review investigation reports, determine what violations occurred, if any, review with Benefit Control Supervisor, and recommend conclusion of the investigation.

Establish facts by interviewing, observing suspects and witnesses and analyzing records such as business, personal, or public records and documents. Collect, protect, and preserve physical evidence and ensure the integrity of the chain of custody. Verify information obtained to establish accuracy and authenticity of facts, data and evidence. Prepare written determinations that are accurate, complete, informative, and concise. Evaluate the appropriateness of referring a case for prosecution.

Develop and maintain healthy and productive relationships with the District Attorneys/Department of Justice personnel. Sign criminal complaints and provide restitution information to prosecutors. Appear as a witness for the prosecution and testify at hearings.

Analyze fraud trends, schemes and threats to UI. Network with other UI staff, partner agencies, and law enforcement on methods to prevent and detect the trends, schemes and threats to UI. Provide technical assistance to UI Management on investigative policy, techniques and procedures, and preparation for prosecution.

Special Notes: Because of the nature of the job duties performed by these positions, criminal background and other background checks will be conducted on final candidates prior to selection for the position.

Job Knowledge, Skills and Abilities:
• Extensive knowledge of criminal investigation and fact finding techniques, especially as related to criminal fraud investigations
• Excellent verbal and written communication skills
• Knowledge of judicial processes
• Knowledge of criminal investigation and prosecution processes
• Skill to conduct confrontational interviews
• Ability to review processes and procedures related to fraud prevention and detection
• Ability to apply investigative methods and procedures to investigations
• Ability to read, interpret, and apply complex laws, rules, policies and
procedures • Good analytical skills
• Ability to work with diverse populations
• Ability to work flexible hours
• Ability to travel for work

How To Apply: Apply with a resume and cover letter. Your resume and cover letter should describe your experience as it relates to the job duties, and knowledge, skills and abilities listed in the job announcement; should include the name of your employer(s), your role and specific responsibilities, and your level of independence in decision making; and should address each of the following three key areas:

1) Investigation and enforcement. Include: purpose for the investigation; your role (i.e., lead investigator, sole investigator; working under the direction of another, etc.); experience collecting/protecting evidence and verifying authenticity of facts, etc.; the outcome of the investigation; other pertinent information.

2) Activities related to prosecution. Include: your role in evaluating appropriateness of referral of cases for prosecution; types of cases involved; tracking the case through the system; signing criminal complaints; representing the prosecuting party/testifying in hearings and trials; other pertinent information.

3) Fraud Detection. Include: experience recognizing and detecting threats related to fraudulent activities, the type of crime, and your role; methods you used; the outcome; other pertinent information.

Submit application materials to Alexandra Camarao; DWD/HRS; 201 East Washington Avenue; P.O. Box 7946; Madison, WI 53707-7946 or e-mail Completed application materials must be received by 11:59 PM on the deadline date to ensure consideration. Application materials will be evaluated and the most qualified applicants will be invited to participate in the next step of the selection process.

I applied hours before the cut-off time on the deadline, as the now-or-never scenario brings out my most descriptive ideas through the primal, senses-sharpening adrenaline rush of urgency. Although experienced municipal detectives seeking to receive state benefits assuredly applied, I put myself up for consideration to gauge how far I’d go in the selection process.

In sharp contrast to most early-career, permanent state positions, I was not granted so much as a first interview for this entry-level, limited-term employment (LTE) gig. It appears the silence resulting from my statement, “Here’s my pitch for UI fraud investigator,” evinces greater latitude in short-listing applicants during the initial round of vetting, relative to the standard Wisconsin government approach of, “Let’s interview 10, 15 people for one position.”

I have better luck getting first-round interviews for positions that either require a civil service exam – the first step in applying for most permanent positions at state agencies -- or university services program associate (USPA) at whichever university departments happen to advertise at the time; the latter jobs typically require a cover letter, but I’m good enough at writing USPA cover letters to qualify for interviews more often than not.

But those never pan out into second-round interviews either, so the most I take away is occasional mirth. Time-wasting job interviewee wastes everyone’s time, no? Read my cover letter for unemployment compensation fraud investigator. It just might make you feel better about yourself -- perhaps inspired enough to apply for the position yourself when it is next advertised! (These LTE positions are advertised maybe once a year, at most.)

NOTE: I knew “Chris” was a woman because I called a day before to hear her voicemail greeting. To demonstrate my preparation, I addressed her as “Christine” in my statement of intent.

April 28, 2014

Christine and colleagues:

I espied the four project-term fraud investigator positions shown within the Division of Unemployment Insurance during a routine patrol of the Workforce Development online premises. Upon identifying knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs) that matched the description of Mr. Joseph Ohler, Jr.’s experience and expertise, I established reasonable cause that that he would be an ideal incumbent in such a capacity.

The discrete KSAs that particularly align with Mr. Ohler’s are as follows: identify, rectify, and prevent fraud; conduct fact-finding interviews; understand and apply Wis. Stat. Ch. 108; stop and report fraudulent payments and stolen identity. Mr. Ohler’s work history has, in fact, spanned all such duties throughout the half dozen jobs held during his blossoming career. So well, in fact, that it should be a crime!

Given the prima facie evidence, I enjoin you to schedule a charge hearing so the suspected four offending jobs may enter a plea as defendants and decide whether to stand trial against the allegations that they violated Section JPO of the Professional Job Code: “No white-collar job vacancy may lawfully match the KSAs and work history of the man Joseph Ohler, Jr.”

Please accept my résumé as an affidavit to supplement this job offender report you are presently reading. I am eager to undergo a cross examination so that we may throw the book at these delinquent job vacancies known as “project-term fraud investigator positions” and thereby prevent further loss of morality and decency within the Professional Job Community.

The very notion that Mr. Ohler may land into a white-collar job is unthinkable and outrageous. We must prevent such a scenario at all costs by making a public example of these Ohler-compatible employment listings. The alternative is loss of credibility throughout the Professional Job Community -- so let us close the book on this open-and-shut case.

I’ve taken the first step by writing you today; cross examination at your East Washington Street office is the next step in a successful prosecution!


Joseph Ohler, Jr.
Fraud Investigator At-Large

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Generation Jobless: A Rap

05-08-2014 Update: UW-Milwaukee has unveiled its winning crop of graduates this May 2014. How many do you think are profiled? Only five! And that's out of a graduating cohort of over 5,000 students.

Two of those publicized grads had already earned a bachelor's before their second degree, meaning they wasted 4 years on a stillborn career only to try again. The other three were winning all sorts of non-UWM awards from their freshmen year onward -- so although they hit pay dirt on their first degree, they in no way resemble anything the typical student or graduate will experience career-wise.

And yes, UWM has feel-good awards such as the CVSL Volunteer of the Year, STAR Awards, and Student Senate blandishments -- but they are all for naught, neither valued nor taken seriously in the real world of work. This is true not only for UWM but also for every university where every other person ISN'T an Elon Musk clone in terms of intelligence and social capital.

The MPA grad in the group, Aaron Lipski, had been a firefighter prior to earning his degree, thereby continuing the trend of a public administration degree being worthless unless you already work for the city. That man graduated from UWM way back in 2001 with a lousy communications degree, and only now is anyone profiling him because he finally achieved his goal of preparing budget documents for the Milwaukee Common Council. It only took him until age 50 or so to get there!

And really, Lipski's role as firefighter enabled him to gain the trust of the internship gatekeepers. That man would have never been hired if not for his vo-tech work experience; the degree was incidental and arguably inconsequential to Aaron's success.

The only reason I mention Lipski by name is because his example -- although seemingly pro-UWM on its face -- actually underscores how little UWM had to do with any of his job prospects. Aaron made his career by training as a firefighter and then using that position to transition into budget preparation.

Dennis Hatch and henchmen had nothing to do with Lipski working for the Milwaukee Common Council, so visitors to the UWM news page should not be fooled. And if anyone connected to Aaron is reading this, I'm not insulting Lipski but am saying universities tend to take much more credit than they are due.

Take back your lives from the higher education hucksters. Boycott all universities, not just UWM!

05-01-2014 Original:

Another May, another wave of graduates -- and for what? Out of thousands of graduates per institution, a few dozen will have white-collar jobs when they graduate and be featured in the “graduate profile” graduation promotion consisting of a photo and brief story of each “success story” grad.

The remainder will compete for professional vacancies, with no more than 500 of the 2,000 or so graduates entering those positions by the following May’s batch of grads. The remainder are either unemployed or working multiple unskilled, part-time jobs.

And while data specific to graduates are more widely publicized in the United Kingdom, America is heading towards the same slump due to misdirecting youth into accredited tertiary education they neither need nor benefit from.

When only a fourth of graduates secure white-collar jobs a year after earning their degree and in most cases, I really mean EARNING it the notion of a university as “professional career preparation” is obviously an odious lie meant to deceive through vague but legally permissible connotations of greener-than-reality pastures on the far side of the university journey. So bring shame to the higher education hucksters by refusing to enroll at their universities!

For the remainder of graduates constituting our surplus educated labor force, the clock is ticking until the next gaggle of grads will steal the jobs that prior graduates had been waiting and pushing for their turn in the queue. The December graduates cap off their formal credential in time for the January hiring spurt; and any summer students who technically graduate in August are considered in the job market more or less along the same set of May graduates while finishing their final three or so credits.

This presents a double whammy to the graduate who has been unable to persuade someone to employ him or her professionally by next academic year’s end: Even if building their skills through dumb trial and error in mock, unpaid-at-home run-throughs of what they think their desired jobs will be like, occupationally stagnant graduates are facing competitors who are at least a year longer, less depreciated in the labor market, and possessing fewer memories of failure in the rat race.

As Heidi Shierholz of the Economic Policy Institute reports, “...There are still more than 20 percent more unemployed workers than job openings...(and) between 1.2 and 7.6 times as many unemployed workers as job openings in every industry.”

And that's not even segmenting ratios of jobseekers to job vacancies by years of experience in their respective industries, degree holder status or non-degreed person, etc. One may infer the job prospects follow an upright bell curve for years of experience -- with those trying to enter the field and those close to retirement with the worst chances -- and that degree vs. non-degree flattening out over the years due to experience holding a greater premium than on-paper credentials that have ceased to be an economic differentiator, no longer a Veblen good.

After so many years of this nonsense, it begs the question: Why don’t universities let local firms determine a greater portion of the curriculum so more of their program graduates can actually get jobs? So-called “academic freedom” aside, university staff have no incentive to care about better employment prospects for their pupils.

But now, scores of graduates are telling aspiring students about how many of their contemporaries have fallen short in the labor market despite possessing the once-ballyhooed powers of the college degree. Don’t think that an advanced degree will cure your situation! Is anyone hiring you to work as a graduate assistant in a research or teaching capacity? If the answer is “no,” then no one will care about your hard-earned graduate degree, and it will be like Groundhog Day when you again graduate without a job.

Can it be that such degree-affiliated value is entirely imaginary, like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy? It certainly seems to be so when you examine the unemployed and under-employed graduates working unskilled jobs in your neighborhood! “There is no evidence of this,” claim university spokespeople -- but that is only because they do not monitor such data! WILLFUL IGNORANCE is the entire defense of university career centers!

It is time to expose them. Merely spreading word of mouth isn’t enough. I have therefore composed, performed, and mixed the following song:

Generation Jobless: A Rap - Lyrics

They call you tops; that's for real /
When you graduate, whose job you'll steal? /
Higher ed hucksters, turnin' green /
When students protest, the jobless scene /
Career Centers don't care, a bunch of bricks /
Neither do advisors; deceptive tricks /
What work you'll do, whatever the pay /
Years beyond graduation day?

Song download: Play this everywhere, all the time.
Generation Jobless: A Rap [0:20 | 784 KB]

Samples: Use these in your own raps to spread the vibe.
Generation Jobless Acapella [0:19 | 464 KB]
Generation Jobless Beatbox [0:20 | 488 KB]