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Disclaimer

Examine the expectations and inferences underlying selected job positions. Consider timely topics in career preparation and the struggle for fulfilling employment. Analyze what could be improved in either situation. If this blog reminds you too much of work, then peruse my namesake blog for lighter fare.

Fuck UWM and all universities! UW-Milwaukee and their brethren are mediocre. Click banner ads on ClixSense instead; it's a better use of time than a college education in the UW System.

Monday, March 11, 2013

"What's My Value?" - An original poem by Joseph Ohler, Jr.

Popular question, or so it seems / Graduates face to realize their dreams /
Of what to the table you will bring / Of which achievements do you sing /
Whoa! Better than belief? Dude's unreal / Talking about himself with such a spiel! /
Hiring manager beguiled / Corporate culture defiled /
"Independence," that dirty word / Company needs become absurd /
Treating applicants like a bunch of parity / But this graduate proves to be a rarity

Individuality! The cliches deny / Elsewhere your success will lie /
Don't need to sell my value / Only tell what is true /
Of course, I don't fit your tidy hatch / Because nonpareil people have no match /
So don't feel *too* disappointed / For missing out on the anointed /
"Blasphemy! What will you do for me?!?" / It's not my concern; go drink your tea! /
Or if you're like me / Then brew some coffee

"Why, I never heard arrogance like that!" / "For an adult, such a spoiled brat!" /
Diminishing advantage for remaining couth / So now I'm SHOUTING undiluted truth /
Job creators act high and mighty / But when *I* do, it's so uptight-y /
No one's my master; no contractual trap / Why help them? Why give a crap! /
No keyholders to my grandiose gate / Don't need approval to know who's great /
And neither should you, if under-employed / And then realize, you'll be overjoyed!

Bonus: Here's a downloadable rap of the above poem! | Size: 2.23MB | Length: 01:37

Bonus Part II: Here's a downloadable lounge rendition of the above poem! | Size: 3.91MB | Length: 02:51

04-01-2013 Update: My message has apparently proven inspirational to at least one self-described "under-privileged" youth. Here's a rendition by "Dijon" of Harlem, NY!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

American Family Insurance Investigation Acolyte


http://amfam.taleo.net/careersection/american+family+insurance+external/jobdetail.ftl?job=03394&lang=en
"Job Title: Property/Auto Lines Product Internship
Job ID: 03394
Division: Personal Lines
Work Location(s): United States-Wisconsin-Madison
Full/Part Time: AIT or Intern
Position Details
The preferred candidate will have experience planning and organizing, utilizing analytical skills, and working in a team environment.
Position Objective
Working in an internship position under the direction of a senior level employee, completes projects or tasks that support the business area goals and results. Performs tasks by adapting to new or changing situations in a team environment. Gathers information, plans and organizes work efficiently and effectively. Applies and learns technical skills appropriate to the specific job assignment.
Primary Accountabilities
Supports Division`s Business Goals/Results (20%)
-- Begins to develop an understanding of American Family`s business environments, corporate culture and structure to support work initiatives.
-- Maintains work efficiency and responds positively to a changing environment.
-- Is open to and supports new ideas, systems and procedures. Generates creative ideas and actions in response to changing situations.
-- Promptly adjusts strategies or tactics in situations where the current approaches are ineffective.
Information Gathering (20%)
-- Demonstrates ability to gather appropriate information. Efficiently identifies sources of information for a wide variety of problems or needs.
-- Seeks help when information is difficult to obtain. Seeks out knowledgeable people to obtain information or clarify a problem.
-- Probes skillfully to get both information and its context. Uses skillful questioning to draw out implied and indirect information.
Planning & Organizing (20%)
-- Plans, prioritizes, and organizes tasks.
-- Schedules time appropriately to accomplish objectives. Stays focused and avoids distractions.
-- Breaks down projects into component tasks.
-- Identifies and uses appropriate resources.
-- Completes projects and tasks efficiently and effectively.
Teamwork (20%)
-- Cooperates with other team members and builds a spirit of unity within the team.
-- Fulfills commitments to other team members. Informs team members of important or relevant information for team success.
-- Initiates activities and actively participates in the decision making process to achieve goals.
-- Recognizes the efforts of other team members and values individual differences.
Technical Expertise (20%)
-- Demonstrates a depth of judgment, knowledge and technical skill important for the position.
-- Applies knowledge of basic techniques and concepts.
-- Uses good judgment to handle basic issues and problems.
-- Acquires and applies new skills as necessary.
Job Competencies
-- Achieve Results
-- Be Accountable
-- Maximize Customer Experience
-- Adaptability
-- Information Gathering
-- Planning & Organizing
-- Technical Expertise
Specialized Knowledge and Skills Requirements
-- Must be in pursuit of a master's, bachelor's or associate degree or certificate program that is related to the internship.
Working Conditions
-- This position requires the ability to work in loud noise (examples: metal can manufacturing department, large earth-moving equipment).
--- This position requires the ability to work in very loud noise (examples: jack hammer work, front row at a rock concert)."

Although I’ve expanded the scope of my blog to critically examine -- provide a potentially controversial counterpoint for equal consideration -- the feasibility of actually working in certain occupations, today I return to the original premise of “Absurd Job Vacancies:” the analysis of how ridiculous a job sounds when its stand-alone description is elaborated upon within a broader context beyond the cozy confines of a well-packaged, idealistic view of riskless opportunities. You might say that I grind away the gilt leaf and glitter from these preconceived opportunities to “read between the lines” by raising awareness of which real-life behaviors those cryptically written tasks and vague objectives actually translate into.

The intern or Agent-In-Training (AIT) will dive headfirst into the office politics of getting information from those who’d rather not disclose and assistance from those who’d rather not be bothered. Expect to call early, call often! Cue this mashed-up Dilbert® strip:


(Click the image for a higher-fidelity version.)

Potentially conflicting duties are to “inform team members of relevant or important information,” “seek help when information is difficult to obtain,” and to “stay focused and avoid distractions.” It is very feasible that an employee attempting to hold a coworker’s attention in fulfillment of the first two directives may be seen as a distraction in violation of the third objective.

Also, the work conditions are a little extreme for an office-based job. I can only presume the exposure to loud noises from machinery and amplifiers is due to risk evaluations conducted during the riskiest portions of business operations. For example, monitoring machine operators for adherence to safety protocols and watching crowd control procedures of security staff during a raucous concert may be duties of the position similar to what an independent safety inspector would have.

It makes sense when considering most insurance decisions are based on demographics and safety record. Why not send the insurance agent on an impromptu inspection to catch clients off-guard to document violations and subsequently raise insurance premiums? Thus, the incumbent has the duty to “use skillful questioning to draw out implied and indirect information.” Your insurance agent is like a cop, but friendlier! And whatever you do, don’t mention anything about backyard wrestling. From what I’ve seen, that activity can pose considerable risks to life and limb.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Training to Become a Municipal Manager: A Raw Deal for Many

Today’s post is lengthy but entirely necessary as a cautionary account to dissuade those who are considering the Master’s program in public administration at UW-Milwaukee. I should make it clear that by mentioning the program, I am not endorsing it by any means. Why do I advise people against enrolling in the same program from which I graduated? Read on, take notes, and be skeptical of “conventional wisdom.”

Municipal internships were incredibly difficult to get into because the city managers running the program would refuse to return phone calls I left on voicemail once getting through the secretary or personal assistant responsible for screening calls. Emails were similarly ignored except for the occasional response assuring me there were no internships to be had irrespective of my timing several weeks before the following semester and towards the end of manager vacation periods. The program’s internship coordinator was no help because he merely referred back to the same city manager whom I had attempted dozens of times to reach.

Although I enrolled in the internship elective and stumped every semester for a qualifying internship, I had to cancel enrollment in that elective every semester in which my attempts at getting an internship failed. The alternative would have been to receive an “incomplete,” and two consecutive incomplete statuses produce an “F.” Only through my foresight in the matter did I dodge that bullet -- but it's unfortunate that foresight did not extend back to the spring 2008 semester when I had scouted the program. Let’s just say that when someone says, “You could do these jobs with that degree,” they really mean, “Although there is a logical connection between the studies in this program and those jobs, you might have no chance.”

Five years later and 30 months out of the program, my self-assessment of goals is far more cautious, concrete, and immune to ego-inflating pandering. I considered enrolling in a nursing program but searched the Internet for unemployed nursing graduates -- and there are FORUMS full of them! I’m glad the Internet has facilitated the discovery of those less fortunate in leveraging their logically and technically proper education into actual employment because such accounts provide a more realistic weight to the risk of pursuing education beyond the short-term opportunity cost.

While in the Master’s program in public administration at UW-Milwaukee, I spoke with many classmates about their occupational status and intended career paths. About half the first-semester students had an internship; another quarter were already employed as mid-career professionals; and the remaining quarter were neither. By the fourth semester, these segmentations had changed respectively into three-fifths, three-tenths, and one-tenth among the original cohort (group of students identified by semester of entry into the program).

Because none of those individuals had actually agreed to participation in any study -- longitudinal or otherwise -- I can report on post-graduate outcomes only from my perspective. My suspicion is that at least half of students didn’t get their money’s worth due to having fewer than twenty-four months of part-time internship experience by the time of graduation. Subtracting those who already worked in an office, it is probable that a third of the first-semester cohort still have minimum-wage jobs and hence are no better off career-wise almost three years out of the program.

So why the difference? Did those who secured internships lie on their résumés? We’ll never know due to legal obstacles such as privacy rights. Given how several of my friends from the program couldn’t secure an interview for town clerk despite each having at least eighteen months municipal intern experience, the cynic in me believes egregious misrepresentations were made on the résumés of those who got a position.

There is a pattern: the under-employed graduates have spoken with each other but have been unable to touch base with those graduates employed in their intended field. But does the pattern reflect relevant meaning? It boils down to the fact there was serious gatekeeping going on by way of cliques. As mentioned below, I was a very active networker who understood that someone’s friend or relative might be an inroad. The problem is that a one-way bridge does not constitute a true social connection.

It is only fitting those on the outs should receive a partial refund of tuition for the value lost to such directed limitations imposed by those running the various internships. However, the university holds the opinion that only course work is guaranteed. Remaining enrolled in perpetuity until an arbitrary number of internships has been served proves ineffective because the hanger-on pays semester after semester of tuition to gamble anew each period against new names and fresher faces -- and all the city managers have since learned to tune out the persistent applicant.

So why bother enrolling for subsequent semesters in hopes of not having to drop that internship elective for the nth time? I’m sharing lessons learned from the regrettable experience so the world can be better informed about the risk of pursuing a Master’s degree. And yes, there was a 360-degree review of “fit” or compatibility between goals and aptitudes before admission into and halfway through the program.

Therein lies the problem: the assessment was too narrow and excluded the importance of personal charisma in making anything out of the program. How was I, moderately successful in the student government, supposed to predict my networking skills wouldn’t win the day in a supposedly less political program? That would prove to be an ill omen of subsequent job search efforts.

I’d advise anyone considering enrollment in a public administration or government affairs program to refrain from doing so if you’re not exactly a pillar of the community or even the life of the weekend party. I’m no wallflower by any means, but my networking just didn’t produce any inroads. True introverts will have even less success in such a program.

If you’re wondering where all the successful people in the world are, then be very pessimistic about your chances about getting a better job as a result of an educational program. They sense trouble about you and hide away or at least avoid eye contact. No amount of knowledge acquired will change this. To hammer home my point, I changed the wording of two speech bubbles in the following Beetle Bailey® comic from Mort Walker’s 2005 compilation The Best of Beetle Bailey:

“Thank you, Joe, for saving me thousands of dollars in tuition and over two years of my time by warning me to stay away from public administration programs!” You’re welcome and may thank me by donating several dollars via the PayPal links in the header or footer of this page.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Job Seekers vs. Job Creators

I had fancied the notion of drawing a three-panel comic strip expressing the disjunction between aspirations of income-yearning job seekers and expectations of unaccommodating job creators. I then saw a Blondie® comic online which I have remixed or "mashed up" to have a different message and slightly altered colors to suit my taste. Here it is!






Click the image to enlarge. Further magnification may be achieved by pressing "Ctrl"+"=" simultaneously.




Joseph Ohler's Affiliate Click-for-Cash Program

Monday, February 11, 2013

CMS Dethroned: The Repealed Obsolescence of the Front-End Web Developer

If you’ve scoured web developer vacancies lately, then you might have noticed most opportunities are in web application and database development (as opposed to website development). The coding expertise needed for those endeavors pertain to manipulation of server-side lists independent of style or user-end presentation. PHP is now being paired with a polyglot of other codes such as Ruby on Rails, Java, and the ASP.Net languages (VB.Net, C++, and C#) -- all server-side and therefore requiring a compiler-compatible server on which to test. The latest version of client-side markup, HMTL5, is occasionally seen listed after the more prominent server-side languages in the required job skills.

This marks a drastic departure from HTML-JavaScript-CSS-PHP-Perl quintivium of quality from the 1990s. What could have been the primary force in that migration of business web technology preferences when each of those technologies enjoys continued developer support?

In his 2010 book Joomla! Bible, Ric Shreves explains how content management systems (CMS) have eroded demand for front-end developers (Section 1.1.1 of the eBook edition):

Managing a static website also locks you into hiring people with coding skills to perform content management tasks...In contrast, if you use a content management system...[then] anyone with basic skills can make changes to the web page.

It hence appears on the surface that a CMS would increase staff flexibility by allowing virtually anyone with permissions to alter the organizational website without having to deal with the IT department after having attained login credentials. If everyone making online content or files reproducible in an online environment may upload his or her addition, edits, and deletions, then it would logically follow this empowerment of the workforce would save time.

I have to question the validity of any claims to increasing efficiency, however; too many contributors can make a website into a disorganized mess or at least dilute the style. Some CMS packages such as Joomla! do not allow differentiation of permissions by username yet permit simultaneous login of multiple users, thereby inviting transaction gridlock and remote read/write conflict.

Also, books on learning a particular content management system often number in the hundreds of pages, thereby implying a learning curve and the added cost of training. If you're in management, then which would you prefer to do?

1) Pay your $20-an-hour communications specialist to read a book on Joomla! or some other CMS and have him or her update the requested pages within the off-the-shelf limitations of that CMS; or

2) Pay your $20-an-hour web developer to update the requested pages using the code-rich knowledge he's developed for years to make pixel-perfect customization of each page such as by ground-up PHP template.

Not only will Option 2 provide greater possibilities and fidelity to your vision, but the web developer will be quicker than the non-coder learning the CMS and just as quick as the non-coder who knows the CMS inside and out. Not to mention, the glut of under-employed web developers means you'll likely be able to score a seasoned developer for a mere $18 an hour for additional savings.

A web developer can do many things which a typical CMS cannot. To wit:

Web Developer Joomla!
Add a JavaScript event listener on the fly Wade through over 4,500 extensions to maybe find a way
Communicates 108.2 standards No
Domain name server forwarding No
Fully customize URLs and file names No
Leaner development via concise code Bloated framework via redundant “spaghetti” code
Mentor to others No
Metacognition of troubleshooting No
Possible political ally / mouthpiece No
Translate business requirements into code Pester the online support community about how to
True model-view-controller (MVC) separation Entire MVC is encapsulated by CMS framework

If you readers think of any additional advantages which a manually-coding website developer provides over a non-coder wielding a CMS, then let the world know in the comment section!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Deconstructing the Job Fair

Job fairs are a pageant for the demimondaines, a parade for the isolated. We see the Associated Press photos of the huddled masses outflanking informational booths and the available hiring opportunities those folding tables represent, nonetheless showing up for face time with recruiters and first-line interview specialists as a palliative plug in the drain pipe of their self-esteem for as long as disbelief can be suspended and the odds ignored.

Employment fair participants have a bond of shared hardship, yet they realize some must lose for their fellow pavement pounders to win. Queue coordinators and booth staffers promote civility and calm among displaced employees with disrupted lives. Those burdened with representing their organization to the unemployed legion must be cordial while maintaining psychological distance, lest they get caught up in the maddening plight of a zero-sum game for which they influence who escapes their predicament and who remains damned: no matter who they help, someone will be worse off (in lost time and renewed disappointment) due to mutually exclusive payoffs for the job seekers.

Hence, many employers prefer job placement by referral because it greatly softens this psychological dilemma due to making it clear who the "good guys" and "bad guys" are among equally qualified applicants. But if you decide to partake in a job fair, then commit to enjoying the experience or at least to making cathartic comments to recruiters and fellow contestants. You might disarm the recruiter with your unpretentious honesty or befriend a soon-to-be-hired applicant who could be in a position to recommend you -- be sure to exchange contact information.

No matter how many contacts you make, always strive for more. The unpredictability of personalities means that finding compatibility is a numbers game requiring enormous resilience to wade through the illusory opportunities and arrive at the real portals. Such a far-reaching vetting process requires resilience to the extreme in essence and attribute.

Making your networking rounds and personal pitches week after week, month after month requires commitment to getting your name in the minds of corporate HR personnel. To do so involves legendary dedication such that you become known as someone who persistently pursues your goals with 100% of your being and NEVER-NEVER-NEVER gives up!

Cheers to those laboring through the job fair circuit, and be sure to comment here for a dialogue!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

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