Shut-In Caregiver

http://madison.craigslist.org/npo/2844974864.html

"Job Title: Paid Roommate (Madison, WI)

Options in Community Living is a non-profit agency in Madison, WI supporting about 100 adults with developmental disabilities. Support occurs in their home, apartment, and/or in the community, and can include personal care, lifting, bathing, emotional support, and community events. An insured car may be required in some households for certain shifts. Duties, shifts, locations all vary from person to person, so contact Kate to find out how you can make a difference in someone's life!

Are you energetic, positive, a good team-player, creative, and looking for a live-in position? 2 downtown men need someone to live in, work and stay overnight. Hours: Sunday 5-11pm and overnight, Monday-Thursday 7-9am and overnight, Friday 7-9am, Wednesday 3-11pm. Weekend hours also available. Encourage their involvement with meals, cleaning, and grocery shopping; prompt personal care duties and routine, help with medication, and help them get involved in the community while maintaining safety for one of the men who can't be alone. An insured car is required. EOE

8 hours are unpaid sleep time each overnight.

Compensation: $10.75/hr, benefits, free rent"

Seeing how this “paid roommate” position is really a live-in caregiver, I’m surprised that no particular license is required as part of the applicant’s qualifications, especially when one of the care recipients “can’t be alone.” Why does the job poster require the successful applicant to be creative? Because assisting with daily life activities can get old pretty quickly, even for someone who is “energetic (and) positive.” Occasional changes in routine help make these job duties less tedious. However, there are only so many ways to make wiping someone’s behind and other “prompt personal care duties” any fun.

New York Philharmonic Chaperone w/ PR Duties

http://www.idealist.org/view/job/Z8khxKTwtFsP/

"Job Title: Communications Assistant

Posted on: February 28, 2012

Posted by: New York Philharmonic

New York Philharmonic seeks a Communications Assistant to provide general support to Communications staff including specific responsibilities for the following:

-Coordinate photography and video for organization, including scheduling and working with house photographers and media photographers for concerts/events; obtain clearances for photography at concerts/events and other media requests; choose photo ‘selects’ for publicity and marketing uses and service photos as needed; schedule portrait sittings for new Orchestra members; maintain Orchestra Portrait Gallery; coordinate annual Orchestra Portrait.

-Review major papers and online news sources daily for reviews, feature articles, and other significant pieces pertaining to the New York Philharmonic, its musicians, and others involved with the Orchestra. Distribute pertinent clips via e-mail on a daily basis, and compile all press activity.

-Brainstorm and develop media pitches for Philharmonic subscription concerts, special events and other activities; help cultivate relationships with key journalists; arrange interviews. Specific responsibility for radio broadcasts, listings/photo placement, season previews and holiday guides.

-Coordinate interviews for weekly radio broadcasts and podcasts (e.g. arrange interviews with guest artists, key internal figures).

-Assist with logistics and implementation of major events (e.g. opening night press reception, season announcement press conference, galas, etc.).

-Writing assignments as needed, such as some press releases (radio broadcast releases), social media platforms (Tumblr, Twitter) and other press materials.

-Coordinate electronic distribution of press releases through Swiftpage using HTML template. Responsibility for maintenance and organization of media database and lists (ACT).

-Each member of PR staff to equitably share in the responsibilities of concert duty for concerts and events throughout the year, including ‘all hands on’ events (such as Parks, Opening Night, etc.).

-Miscellaneous duties as required.

Requirements:

College degree with minimum of one year office experience (preferably in PR/communications). Ability to work in deadline-oriented, multi-tasking environment. Good writing skills and organizational abilities. Professional manner and a sense of ‘appropriateness’ in representing the Philharmonic. Proficiency with Photoshop, knowledge of HTML, social media, video shooting/editing and general tech ‘savviness’ preferred. Knowledge of classical music preferred."

The successful applicant will possess an intimate understanding of the Philharmonic’s image and philosophy in order to have the necessary propriety when communicating on behalf of the organization. I believe that the minimum office or liaison experience should be specified as being acquired in a mid-size or large department to ensure the new hire will be someone who has maintained not only composure but also a cheerful demeanor in a high-volume communications environment.

This poise under pressure will be especially critical for when the communications assistant “equitably share(s) in the responsibilities of concert duty…and events through the year.” This “concert duty” involves logistic and chaperoning, not performing, although “knowledge of classical music” will help the evening more tolerable as the communications assistant counts heads for the twelfth time and herds everyone onto the tour bus. Mercifully for the successful applicant, the communications assistant will not be required to perform at these events, and hence he or she will not need to rehearse or otherwise sacrifice time best spent playing phone tag with press contacts and revising press releases.

The “miscellaneous duties” requirement could be a deal breaker considering the prima donnas who abound in the “fine arts.” Let’s hope the communications assistant won’t have to fill in for the makeup artist or hair stylist! It’s difficult enough to find qualified applicants who not only know video production, digital editing, and the various social media outlets but also exhibit enthusiasm for classical music. I’m sure whoever is hired as communications assistant will have his or her hands full managing pressure from Philharmonic performers who lobby to have their respective photos chosen for publicity.

"Bowl Games of America" Sales Agent

http://tbe.taleo.net/NA7/ats/careers/requisition.jsp?org=WORLDSTRIDES&cws=1&rid=110

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Job Title: Performing Arts Sales Representative

West Valley City, Utah
WorldStrides Heritage Performance Mission: Enriching Students’ Lives Through Experiential Travel
Heritage Performance has openings for high energy, self-motivated sales professionals to recruit high school/middle school music or dance directors via phone throughout the United States to bring their students on our music festivals or bowl game half-time events. This is a base plus commission position with unlimited earning potential and excellent benefits.

Come be a part in enriching lives of students as they have the unforgettable opportunity to perform with their friends in exciting venues. Heritage Performance operates over 90 music festivals to thousands of high school and middle school music students per year. Bowl Games of America operates the half time shows for 8 college bowl games annually as well as various parades throughout the year. We have had over one million students travel with us since our inception in 1980. Come play a part in this exciting opportunity!

Success is contingent upon candidates who:
- Are highly motivated self starters
- Have a strong work ethic
- Are proficient with talking on the phone with educators and building relationships with them
- Are coachable and have a positive attitude
- Have proven sales experience
- 4-year college degree highly preferred
-Ability to travel during festival or bowl game season
- Working knowledge of the computer

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Although the sales representative is required to target his or her relationship marketing to the directors of dance and music programs at various high schools, it would be helpful for the seller to pitch the event participation to the students participating in those programs. Why? A director must keep his or her operating costs under budget, whereas program participants generally seek to enhance the scope of their audience. It becomes more difficult for a director to decline purchasing a slot in the bowl game half-time show, music festival, parade, etc. when the children of influential community members pester him or her about how the trip will be the credential to put them into contention for Ivy League schools. I’m sure that many parents also henpeck these directors to boost their children’s exposure.

Again, requiring vague “working knowledge of the computer” indicates the job poster knows little, if anything, about exactly which computer skills are necessary to use the hardware and software to perform duties. I imagine that a customer relations management (CRM) application of one type or another displays potential clients and how recently they were contacted with an offer. The most questionable KSA is possession of a baccalaureate degree: This accomplishment has virtually nothing to do with sales performance because only sales experience confers the knowledge and timing necessary to establish effective sales habits.

You don’t need college experience to use with great effect the familiar spiel, “Your child needs these expensive, time-consuming activities to get into a good college and not work food service the rest of his/her life.” The truth is that such an outcome might occur anyway, and so it’s better to focus on directly relevant occupational experience in case Johnny or Susie does not get into the conservatory or become hired by the philharmonic.

Built-to-Scale Airplane Modeler & Detailer

http://madison.craigslist.org/med/2881208785.html

"Job Title: looking for qualified airbrush artist (madison)

Date: 2012-03-02, 2:48PM CST

I am a local resident living here in madison. I have a project that I would like to subcontract out. I am currently building a large scale radio controlled airplane. Although I am a very proficient builder I am not an artist.

This plane has a 13' wingspan and is a exact replica of a wwII bomber that my grandfather flew. I am looking for an artist that (sic) can give a realistic paintjob to my creation. It will have a fiberglass shell and be primed and painted with a basecoat. I need someone that can paint the nose art (I have pics of original). Paint the tail feather squadron markings. Someone to give realism to the paint such ass (sic) adding relief lines or stressmarks or subtle variations in metal sheeting. Rivits (sic) ect (sic).

Feel free to contact me for more details ect (sic). I am flexible on payment or timeframes. But I will need to colaberate (sic) with you as well as see some of your previous work. This plane will appear in a few national publication (sic) involving the r/c world as well as many online forums. It would be a great project for someone who seriously considers themselves (sic) to be an artist and is looking for a challenge that will be showcased in many area (sic).

Compensation: to be discussed - This is a contract job."

The job poster is an airplane enthusiast who misspells the word “rivets,” uses bad grammar, and clearly does not thoroughly check his written work. This job vacancy is riddled with unintentional humor “such @$$” comic relief lines and premature declaration of national exposure in an airplane publication. While the job poster might not receive the exposure he intends, he has certainly garnered additional exposure on this blog! I hope his airplane mechanics are better than his English mechanics.

Freelance "Solid Works" Artist

http://madison.craigslist.org/egr/2880221518.html

"Job Title: SolidWorks Detailing (Madison Area)

Date: 2012-03-02, 1:03AM CST

We are looking for a Solid works mechanical designer or drafter to help us with detail (manufacturing) drawings. This is part time work during weekends or evenings.

Majority SW models are completed and ready for detailing.

Requirements:

- Good knowledge of SolidWorks 2010

- Own computer with SW 2010

- Madison Area

Compensation: Working hours and rate will be agreed during first phone call."

'Tis the season to part with your money!

Enjoy unique apparel and stationery!

Although the requirement to work a schedule and hourly rate as determined by the employer implies this “detailing” job to be a bonafide employee position, the requirement to own the equipment necessary to perform the job duties and the unlikelihood of the job poster filing a W2 for the successful applicant make this a terribly constrained independent contracting job. Nonetheless, I’m certain that someone will take it because there are relatively few manufacturing detail positions calling specifically for SolidWorks experience, seeing that most U.S. manufacturing design positions stay with low-frills computer-aided design programs such as AutoCAD.

If you accrued knowledge from using SolidWorks at a previous job but do not have your own installation, then don’t run out and buy a copy just to do this job because the Standard SolidWorks costs $4,000 before shipping, handling, and sales tax, with more advanced editions running $5,500 and $8,000. Because detailing is the only work to be done on the majority of the client’s models, the part-time contractual period may very well be several months or fewer. At $10 per hour and 20 hours per week, an 8-week contractual period would gross $1,600, only 40% of the sticker price of Standard SolidWorks before income tax. Be sure to ask plenty of questions “during the first call” because that is when the job poster will lock the pay rate and hours. Let the job seeker beware!

"Contain-A-Pet" Franchisee

http://madison.craigslist.org/bus/2852649124.html

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Job Title: Dog Fencing/Dog Training Business (Madison)

Date: 2012-02-29, 12:06PM CST
If you love man's best friend, enjoy helping people and would like to make a living in a business with great rewards and personal satisfaction, then a Contain-A-Pet dealership just might be for you. Unlike more expensive franchises that come with very high start up costs, Contain-A-Pet can be started and run from the comfort of your home with no need to lease commercial space.

Why Contain-A-Pet is such a Great Business
One of the most rewarding parts of being a Contain-A-Pet dealer is the joy of helping families and dogs find a way to live together in harmony. A contained dog is a happy and safe dog. Dog owners seek help for many reasons. In some cases they cannot find a way to keep their family member from wandering off, or get their dog to follow life-saving commands like "come". Imagine the satisfaction of knowing how many dogs will not be accidentally hit by cars or even taken by strangers after being properly trained by a Contain-A-Pet professional.

As a Contain-A-Pet dealer and certified dog trainer, you will be the answer to the prayers of dog owners in your area. Dog owners just cannot find a way to deal with them running off, barking, house breaking or other behavioral issues. Every year thousands of dogs unfortunately end up at local shelters because owners just cannot find a way solve their dogs' problems.

What kinds of people make great Contain-A-Pet Dealers?
- They Love dogs
- Have great communications skills
- Are highly motivated to build a successful business and are committed to success
- Enjoys solving clients problems
- Want a flexible schedule and freedom from the 9 to 5 grind
- No dog training experience required!
Even if you're a pure beginner in the pet industry our program is designed to fully train you in the Contain-A-Pet system. After you complete your training we will be there to help and support you every step of the way. Join the High-Demand Pet Industry!

Americans now spend over $30 billion a year on their pets. The demand for pet services is at its highest ever, thanks in part to television reality programs featuring people and their pets. People now know that their pet's behavior problems can often be solved with the help of a professional.
- There are approximately 68 million owned dogs in the United States.
- Four in ten (or 40 million) U.S. households own at least one dog.

•Most owners own one dog (63%).
- More than one-third (37%) of dog owners own more than one dog.

More Than Just a Fencing Business, a Dog Training Business as well
You receive a lot more than just learning how to effectively contain dogs; you learn how to make a living in the dog training business. There is a BIG difference. As a Contain-A-Pet Dealer you receive all the training protocols, business support and knowledge developed over the last 16yrs years (sic). In addition to becoming a Contain-A-Pet Dealer and a certified dog trainer the Contain-A-Pet dealer system includes branding, advertising and marketing help, sales training, add on products and more.

Many people dream of owning their own pet businesses and doing something they love, but very few actually take the step to make it happen. If you are ready to stop dreaming, and start working to achieve this goal, we invite you to contact us for more information today. Visit containapet.org dealer section or call 1-800-777-3647.

Compensation: its (sic) up to you

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Although writing error-free ad copy is not a requisite for running a profitable dog training business, it certainly helps: How many readers would seriously consider becoming a first-time customer of a stranger who doesn’t bother to triple-check for such rudimentary errors as repeating words such as “yrs (spoken as ‘years’) years” and improper omission of a comma in a contraction in the phrase “it’s up to you,” in which the job poster improperly substituted the possessive form “its.” Did the job poster run this ad copy to marketing before going live? If so, then the marketing department should spend more time researching proper English punctuation and grammar.

The amount of hype in a “business opportunity” ad is directly proportionate to the risk entailed. The phrase “high-demand pet industry” has a dual meaning: Many pet owners err on the side of over-indulgence when purchasing supplies and amenities for their pets, but the pet services industry is so saturated that it takes tireless “high (effort) demand” networking to distinguish a given business from other pet service providers.

While around 40% of households in a given U.S. municipality are potentially immediate customers of a dog training service due to ownership of one or more dogs, many owners believe they have adequately trained their dogs. Someone who tries to convince them otherwise may be perceived as arrogant and pushy, and so most customers will be those who readily confess to insufficient training prowess.

Consider those dog owners who are already loyal to a trainer before you opened shop, and the likely market for your newly available dog training service is optimistically 20% of households. Before responding to this ad, ask whether your community has enough middle- and upper-class residents to support one more dog training service than the ones already listed in the phone book. You have to pay for start-up costs such as training, a basic inventory, and a business permit, so don’t quit your current job too soon. You could open a line of credit, but the interest will further reduce your potential profits.

Business maintenance costs are usually between $500 to $1,000 monthly due to commercial property rental, insurance, and utilities. Although the ad states, “Contain-A-Pet can be started and run from the comfort of your home with no need to lease commercial space,” many municipalities forbid residential properties to host walk-in businesses or other offline commercial activities requiring a business permit. Determining the code and permit requirements of your municipality is a must before opening any business so that you know whether the individual capital requirements of the business align with or exceed the legal requirements of your intended locale(s).

With all that in consideration, the “Contain-A-Pet” home page states that its business is “virtual(ly a) risk-free business to the motivated.” Really? What if a dog falls ill during a training lesson or if the good fence you installed falls onto and crushes the client’s flower bed? Such factors necessitate liability insurance which goes beyond simple premises insurance. Most business permits are contingent upon proof of such insurance.

Even shoe-shining services are not risk-free businesses despite having simpler operating models and lower overhead costs. To say that any business is “risk-free,” whether or not a qualifier such as “virtually” is applied, misleads at best and potentially violates the federal “truth in advertising” laws and regulations as enforced by the Federal Trade Commission.